The Four "B"s

Friday 9:30 am CDT

We knew it had to happen. No one gets off scott free down here on the coast anymore. Apparently Fay is headed our way. Crap.


I have reminded all my friends to make sure they stock up on the four "B"s necessary for hurricane season preparedness - Beanie Weenies, batteries, beer and bleach. As my cousin, a former Mobilian, remarked one time, no one knows exactly what the bleach is for, just get it. It's traditional.


In 1995 we evacuated when Hurricane Opal appeared to be headed right at us as a cat 5 storm. We were stuck in wind and heavy rain on Hwy 31 north along with hundreds of other folks and the local DJ thought that "Don't Fear the Reaper" was a good musical selection. What a mood booster that was. Soon after we lost signal from that station and started dialing around for something else. The Power Pig in Monroeville came in loud and clear. Locals were calling in to report conditions and one gentleman caller cracked me up completely. He reported in an almost panicked voice that "there's not a batt'ry or a Bay-ny Way-ny left in Mohn-roh-vee-ull"! Hence my almost religious conviction that one must store up those four "B"s for a rainy day, literally.


I have all the "B"s covered, plus a few more letters of the alphabet - plenty of DVDs for when the rain gets so heavy the satellite goes out, a stack of books (like I ever run out of those) for when the power goes out, batteries for all assorted communication / information devices, fresh bread for sammiches and clean sheets for napping through the whole messy thing.


Two and a half more months of hurricane season left to go. Ah, tropical paradise. Nothin' else like it.